Dear Reader, I have been remiss in addressing of you late. Now, I know I ought not apologize, as any communications professor worth his salt might interject, but (note the brushing sound of my conjunction) my time is as spent as my wi-fi is unsound.
Nevertheless, I wished to caution you of an alarming trend, and that is the increased attacks of Ordinary Creatures. As the weather drifts from the 90’s to the 80’s, the sudden change seems to be affecting the brain patterns of lesser brained animals, such that they go Stark Raving Mad.
To aid you as you keep your wits about, I shall share a few anecdotes.
Yesterday, I decided to go to a local shop to purchase some baking goods. While my friend Ruby inquired about brown sugar (the like of which was not to be found in that province), I began to scout out packages of butter, which I knew to be in a nearby refrigerator. Reaching down into the icy box, I extracted one box, then two, noticing that the cardboard box was slightly damp. As I lifted the second package, I jerked with surprise! My hand had brushed a raw, slightly decrepit looking 10 inch long fish. By what devilry this creature of the sea came to reside in this particular fridge, frightening patrons and otherwise encouraging all manner of inquiries, I cannot say. I thought it the work of ninjas, gnomes, or some other storied creature. But that was before I knew.
This afternoon I sat outside, finishing the last of my lunch while talking with Zechariah and Natasha. By the by, Zechariah mentioned the recent flying of a bird straight into the class of their classroom window. The only thing found later were feathers; the people of the area considered it a sign that the lion had passed through (a enormous cat, I tell you, such as Agouza has never seen).
Shortly after the telling of this tale, a great black-winged creature… I only assumed it was a bird… began to swoop down near my head, whereby I cringed and felt rather Foolish.
Yet considering events of late; bed bug bite sightings after a trip to Siwa, the increase of mosquito scouts, and the general profusion of the typical obnoxious housefly, as well as habitual sightings of the cockroach and gecko, I’d say we have an indication of a larger, more deliberate uprising.
I know not what course others may take, but as for me I will warn you!
Thus ye are warned.